Practice Self Acceptance

I've always struggled against a tendency to create illustrative, graphic child-like art. I've worked to create a sophisticated muted palette, and to paint gesturally and freely to get past that. I've thought of it as something that holds me back, keeps my art trite and too literal. I've worked for "suggesting" rather than outright illustrating.  This tendency still comes out in my expressionist work in ways - keeping it flat and hard edged. I've always felt that I had to struggle against this, overcome it. Learn to be more subtle.

Writing about this really made me laugh at myself, because it's the story of "Julie". How I have always tried to hide my real self and play up the things that are praiseworthy about me. Don't we all do that to some degree? We want to belong - be acceptable, accepted by people we admire. I want to make more sophisticated art, in the same way I wanted to be one of the cool kids in high school. Goodness! That old thing again!

While I don't think I'm stuck with only making the art that comes easily to me, (there's so many ways to grow and so much to learn), I do think it's important that I explore what comes, allow it, learn from it and work through it rather than push it away. For me, it's a practice of self acceptance, allowing myself to be me and embracing my own distinctiveness.

In my latest 100 day project, #100breadcrumbs - I'm collecting impressions of the desert: color studies, botanical monoprints, mark making, sketches and notans of desert creatures. Every so often I put together the pages I've collected into a collage. It feels really light, fun and thoughtful to layer these singular impressions into a composition. A sort of visual crossword puzzle. I've created the latest in an old childs board book that I'll eventually send to my youngest grandgirl, Scottie who adores insects and snakes. (really!) 

And instead of apologizing for its' child-like quality, I'll just share how it rather delights me!